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    une correction? (1)

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    une correction?
    Message de olihand posté le 24-02-2008 à 20:47:32 (S | E | F)

    Re bonjour à tous!
    J'ai une rédaction à faire, c'est inventer une suite à une nouvelle de Roald Dahl: Poison. Elle raconte l'histoire d'un garçon, Harry, qui dit avoir un serpent venimeux qui est monté sur son ventre pendant qu'il était en train de lire. Un ami à lui vient le voir et décide d'apeller le docteur. Celui arrive à la maison. C'est là que commence ma suite (pas la fin je signale).

    "We've got to be quick. If a krait is lying on Harry's stomach, we've got to be quick!"
    Gonderbai (the doctor) was preparing the medicine for a possible bite.
    "Doctor, maybe Harry dreamed."
    "I know, but we can't take the risk to let him jump up. If there is a krait under the sheet, Harry could be bitten, and die in few seconds."
    I felt my legs and my hands covering as Gonderbai was talking. I went back in Harry's room to put him at rest.
    "I'm going to die, don't I?"
    "Don't worry, Gonderbai is gonna make it right."
    I saw in his eyes he was really affraid. The doctor came and tell us the plan. He wanted to give the medicine to Harry and draw the sheet.
    "I'll hold Harry, and you'll raise the sheet. Take a staff or anything to take the krait away" he explain me.
    "I have a sharp knife in my pocket" I answered.
    Harry agreed the plan and told Gonderbai to get an importante dose of serum into him. He said he wanted to let anote for his sister and his mum, I wrote it.
    Then, I had place near the bed, to raise the sheet and move away the snake. Gonderbai was getting the medicine into Harry.
    "Come on, draw the sheet now Timber", he whispered.
    I picked the sheet into my fingers, the knife in my right hand. I started to draw it when Harry began to shrill...




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