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[Correction] Texte court
Message de yodafroman posté le 14-06-2008 à 16:52:40 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, on m'a demandé de l'aide pour un texte mais n'étant pas si qualifié que ça je le soumets à votre jugement :
"I Remember You Now.
I remember when I watched you. Yeah .. I was so young.
But I felt fine in my mind. We were so linked like in Made Of Honor.
I remember but then I don't remember anymore. It's like a blackhole.
Could I ever remember you ? I send this cosmic question into the void.
Now, you're here. You're standing in front of me. You defy theattractive laws laws of attraction.
You stand up to the prohibitions. A wave of cheerfulness comes.
But the truth is I wouldn't leave my position for any reason. Thank you my dear."
Y a-t-il quelque chose qui vous choque ? Déjà le "watched you" c'est parce que le destinataire est un acteur... mais je ne suis pas sûr que cet emploi convienne.
Merci à tous ceux qui accorderait un peu de leur temps ! =)
Message de yodafroman posté le 14-06-2008 à 16:52:40 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, on m'a demandé de l'aide pour un texte mais n'étant pas si qualifié que ça je le soumets à votre jugement :
"I Remember You Now.
I remember when I watched you. Yeah .. I was so young.
But I felt fine in my mind. We were so linked like in Made Of Honor.
I remember but then I don't remember anymore. It's like a blackhole.
Could I ever remember you ? I send this cosmic question into the void.
Now, you're here. You're standing in front of me. You defy the
You stand up to the prohibitions. A wave of cheerfulness comes.
But the truth is I wouldn't leave my position for any reason. Thank you my dear."
Y a-t-il quelque chose qui vous choque ? Déjà le "watched you" c'est parce que le destinataire est un acteur... mais je ne suis pas sûr que cet emploi convienne.
Merci à tous ceux qui accorderait un peu de leur temps ! =)
Réponse: [Correction] Texte court de chrislondon, postée le 14-06-2008 à 22:40:44 (S | E)
Hi,
You could use 'watched you' or 'saw' here. I don't know what you mean by 'Made of Honor'???
I think you mean the Law of Attraction.
The rest seems fine to me.
Réponse: [Correction] Texte court de yodafroman, postée le 14-06-2008 à 23:02:46 (S | E)
"Made of Honor" is a movie so never mind !
Thanks a lot !
