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    E-mail commercial/aide

    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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    E-mail commercial/aide
    Message de virginie71 posté le 30-07-2015 à 14:45:52 (S | E | F)
    Bonjour,
    Je suis actuellement en formation commerciale et notre formatrice d'anglais est en congé. Sur le dernier exercice, elle ne m'a pas validé mes compétences mais je ne sais pas pourquoi (verbe et tournure de phrase).
    Pourriez-vous m'aider et me dire quelles sont mes erreurs afin que je puisse travailler encore pendant mes vacances,
    D'avance merci
    Virginie71

    From: xxx
    To: xxx
    Subject: Re: delivery date
    P.J: invoice n° 124520

    Dear Mr and Mrs. DAWSON,
    I’m receipting your email at the day and thank you for your order on 16th July.
    After check, your 2 canopies with an automatic opening system are available in stock.
    I process of doing shipment straight away.
    The goods will arrive at La Ferme des Hirondelles – 13802 LE REDONNE within 24 hours.
    I send the invoice n° 124520 for ------€ an attachment.
    I stay your disposition if you will have another ask.
    Sincerely,

    Virginie xxx
    Sales Assistant

    -------------------
    Modifié par lucile83 le 30-07-2015 19:25


    Réponse: E-mail commercial/aide de sherry48, postée le 31-07-2015 à 00:24:21 (S | E)
    Hello. I think you need to make some changes.

    Dear Mr and Mrs. DAWSON,
    I’m receipting* your email at the day** and thank you for your order on 16th July.
    After check***, your 2 canopies with an automatic opening system are available in stock.
    I process of doing shipment**** straight away.
    The goods will arrive at La Ferme des Hirondelles – 13802 LE REDONNE within 24 hours.
    I send***** the invoice n° 124520 for ------€ an attachment.
    I stay your disposition if you will have another ask.******

    * Use the verb to receive.
    **today?
    ***I don't think you need "After check".
    ****You could use ship as the verb in the be+verb+ing form.
    *****Use be+verb+ing.
    ******You need to revise this. Another what? Use another verb, not stay.

    Looking forward to your correction. Sherry




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    Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais