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    One sentence/ Correction

    Forum > English only || Bottom

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    One sentence/ Correction
    Message from airis posted on 07-02-2017 at 23:42:08 (D | E | F)
    Dear friends
    I am trying to improve my writing skills and wrote the sentence below, can you please evaluate the sentence from a native perspective?
    Thanks in advance ,

    "The fundamental principle of veterinary science education is to raise conciseness about animal health care issues and animal welfare, ethic problems among veterinarian candidates."

    -------------------
    Edited by lucile83 on 08-02-2017 07:11


    Re: One sentence/ Correction from gerondif, posted on 08-02-2017 at 00:26:43 (D | E)
    Hello,
    It is a long sentence, you need a five-litre lung capacity to read it through !
    Did you mean conciseness or consciousness ?
    "The fundamental principle of veterinary science education is to raise conciseness(consciousness?) about animal health care issues and animal welfare, ethical problems among veterinarian candidates."



    Re: One sentence/ Correction from soei, posted on 17-02-2017 at 07:48:33 (D | E)
    Hi.
    I also think it is very long . The reader misses the aim of the sentence and also it's meaning during the reading it. Please rewrite.
    It's the first and most important problem.
    Have a nice time with my answer!




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