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Guardian ( March, 11th 2006) , David Nicholls
I cradled my son and abandoned Ewan Mc Gregor
« The most dramatic change to our weekend routine has been the arrival of our son Max, four months ago. Not that Friday nights were ever spent drinking martinis in exclusive night-clubs, but inevitably a lot more time is now spent at home, eating too much and falling asleep halfway through movies.
By Saturday morning, my partner, Hannah is desperate for some exercise and goes for a swim while I take Max for a long, aimless walk through the park. Returning from her swim, Hannah discovers that she's worn her goggles too tight and has two perfect black eyes. That night, she goes out for dinner with Friends. It's the first time, I've spent more than three hours alone with Max, so while Hannah's out explaining how she got the black eyes, we're preparing for this latest rite of passage. Feeding is fine and the bath goes as well as can be expected but I can only get Max to sleep by holding him vertically; as soon as he approaches about 10 degrees from the horizontal, he starts to wail.
After an hour or so of lowering him into bed in extreme slow-motion, I give up and resort to lugging him around the dark house in a basket like an overstuffed suitcase.
When he is finally asleep, I attempt to watch a DVD . I have shameful passion for cheesy action movies and very low critical standards in this respect. As long as something's exploding regularly, I am usually fine, but tonight I soon give up the DVD and accept the fact that I will never know if Ewan Mc Gregor discovers the sinister truth that lies beneath the futuristic society.
I channel-hop instead and fail to enjoy or understand nine different programmes until Hannah comes home with some Vietnamese food. As a rule of thumb, it's not good idea to eat takeaway immediately before going to bed. Max decides it might be funny to wake at 5.30 and so is once again carried from room to room, strapped to my chest while I try not to stumble into the doorjambs. Then, in an attempt to lose some of the weight I put on during pregnancy, I go for a bike ride(…) “
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