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    Sydney (correction) (1)

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    Sydney (correction)
    Message de chaachaa posté le 15-03-2008 à 19:39:58 (S | E | F)

    Bonjour(s), j'ai un sujet sur la ville de sydney, je dois dire pourquoi j'aimerais y vivre. Pouvez vous corriger ce que j'ai fait. Merci d'avance.

    Sydney is the city the most populated with Australia it is the capital of the State of New South Wales.
    Sydney is a city which I find interesting for various reason:
    -Sydney possesses a moderate minimal climate and the temperature is eight degrees.
    -Sydney has an Opera: apellé: the opera of Sydney. He was classified in the world heritage of the humanity by UNESCO.
    -Sydney has several popular museums. The biggest are the Australian Museum
    Sydney is a pleasant for this transport because for example: Sydney is served by extensive train, taxi, bus and ferry networks, and sydney has an International Airport.Thus it is easy to move in this city.
    I would like to go at Sydney because Sydney hosts many different festivals and some of Australia's largest social and cultural events. These include the Sydney Festival, Australia's largest arts festival.
    And like I was an studiant, I would like live in this city becaus there are mor univerty.

    -------------------
    Modifié par bridg le 15-03-2008 19:40


    Réponse: Sydney (correction) de blackberry59, postée le 15-03-2008 à 20:26:39 (S | E)
    Hello!

    Voici quelques pistes: je vais mettre en évidence certaines choses à retravailler. Mais ce ne sera pas exhaustif...

    Sydney is the city the most populated (ordre des mots) with (mauvais choix: ici,il faut utiliser la préposition"in") Australia it is the capital of the State of New South Wales.
    Sydney is a city which I find interesting for various reason (pluriel?):
    -Sydney possesses a moderate minimal climate (?) and the temperature is eight degrees.
    -Sydney has an Opera: apellé (called): the opera of Sydney. He ("he" ne peut reprendre qu'un animé humain) was classified in the world heritage of the humanity by UNESCO.
    -Sydney has several popular museums. The biggest are (ce qui suit est un singulier donc on ne peut utiliser "are") the Australian Museum
    Sydney is a (?) pleasant for this (its?) transport because for example: Sydney is served by extensive train, taxi, bus and ferry networks, and sydney has an International Airport.Thus it is easy to move in this city.
    I would like to go at ("go" s'utilise avec "to")Sydney because Sydney hosts many different festivals and some of Australia's largest social and cultural events. These include the Sydney Festival, Australia's largest arts festival.
    And like I was an studiant ("as" conviendrait mieux que "like" ici / et pourquoi utiliser du prétérit? / "an" devant une voyelle.../ attention à l'orthographe ), I would like (il manque quelque chose ici) live in this city becaus there are mor univerty.(si tu mets "there are", il faut du pluriel ensuite.)

    Bon courage


    -------------------
    Modifié par blackberry59 le 15-03-2008 20:27


    Réponse: Sydney (correction) de chaachaa, postée le 15-03-2008 à 20:48:51 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup blackberry59 ta correction et surtout tes explications mon bien aidé.
    Peut tu juste me dire si j'ai bien corrigé cette phrase:These include the Sydney Festival, Australia's largest arts festival.
    And as I anm a studiant, I would like live (je voudrais habitée) in this city because there are more univerties.


    Réponse: Sydney (correction) de blackberry59, postée le 16-03-2008 à 11:17:24 (S | E)
    Hello!

    Il y a du mieux.

    En ce qui me concerne, je mettrai plutôt "biggest" (plus générique) ou "most important", au lieu de "largest".
    I would like TO ...
    Re vérifie l'orthographe du mot que tu as utilisé pour "étudiant".
    "More" sert à faire un comparatif, ce que tu ne fais pas dans ta phrase; je pense que tu fais une confusion entre "more" et "many" (beaucoup), non?
    Revérifie également l'orthographe d'"universités"...

    Encore un petit effort


    Réponse: Sydney (correction) de chaachaa, postée le 16-03-2008 à 11:24:13 (S | E)
    Merci beaucoup




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