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Communication/correction
Message de sandra55 posté le 30-04-2008 à 16:01:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, pouvez-vous m'aider pour la correction? merci d'avance.
We can't imagine the world without modern means of communication
Of course there is still nothing better,than a face-to-face contact. This way one,we can see the eyes of the person he or she, speaks and understands these expressions or feelings.
Indeed these modern technologies allow people to get away of their usual routine in order to be whoever want to be and do whatever they can imagine creating own story
Whereas these news means of communication let the possibility to exceed a some social barrier;
They allow too, the possibility to people to move forward.
That's why they have the abilities to play the part of other person,or to pretend to be celebrities for example
yet people misuse of these news methods and play role-playing-games
They make the lives easier, the business quicker and connect people all over the world in no time
Besides modern technologies are advantageous and useful
Then after a while, the contact between people started waning.
The people were absorbed too much by these technologies;although they don't think
despite communications with people all over the world if they glance next to themselves
they note that they are lonely face-to-face with a screen
Anyway,it will not be able to replace the contact between people,who we
need see, touch and feel the emotions.
So after having weighed the pros and cons, i don't think modern means of communication help to make people feel less lonely
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2008 16:39
Merci aux membres qui ont le gentillesse de répondre, de simplement signaler les erreurs, et de permettre au membre demandeur de s'auto corriger.
Message de sandra55 posté le 30-04-2008 à 16:01:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, pouvez-vous m'aider pour la correction? merci d'avance.
We can't imagine the world without modern means of communication
Of course there is still nothing better,than a face-to-face contact. This way one,we can see the eyes of the person he or she, speaks and understands these expressions or feelings.
Indeed these modern technologies allow people to get away of their usual routine in order to be whoever want to be and do whatever they can imagine creating own story
Whereas these news means of communication let the possibility to exceed a some social barrier;
They allow too, the possibility to people to move forward.
That's why they have the abilities to play the part of other person,or to pretend to be celebrities for example
yet people misuse of these news methods and play role-playing-games
They make the lives easier, the business quicker and connect people all over the world in no time
Besides modern technologies are advantageous and useful
Then after a while, the contact between people started waning.
The people were absorbed too much by these technologies;although they don't think
despite communications with people all over the world if they glance next to themselves
they note that they are lonely face-to-face with a screen
Anyway,it will not be able to replace the contact between people,who we
need see, touch and feel the emotions.
So after having weighed the pros and cons, i don't think modern means of communication help to make people feel less lonely
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2008 16:39
Merci aux membres qui ont le gentillesse de répondre, de simplement signaler les erreurs, et de permettre au membre demandeur de s'auto corriger.
Réponse: Communication/correction de celines, postée le 01-05-2008 à 09:52:05 (S | E)
Bonjour, je signale seulement certaines fautes ou éléments à améliorer:
They make the lives easier: They make life easier(car il s'agit de la vie en généraile)
The people : j'enleverai le 'The' à ta place.
it will not be able to : évites d'employer une négation indirecte. D'autant plus qu'il existe en anglais un équivalent de 'not able to'.
who we need see, touch and feel the emotions: according to me, this sentence sounds weird. Par ailleurs, l'emploi du 'who' ne convient pas dans ce cas s'il se rapporte à 'the contact'.
i don't think : le 'i'seul n'existe pas en anglais, il s'agit de'I'
De plus, si tu pouvais éviter d'omettre les signes de ponctuation, cela faciliterait grandement la lecture.
Réponse: Communication/correction de nick27, postée le 01-05-2008 à 13:25:11 (S | E)
Hey there!
Of course "the people" exists but it refers to the ordinary people living in a certain country while "people" refers to.. well "people in general".
EX:
- The people soon rebelled against the Parliament's new law.
- Don't count on people too much; they do change sometimes for no reason.
