<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas
De l aide pour corriger quelques phrases
Message de elsa64 posté le 26-11-2008 à 22:02:16 (S | E | F)
Bonjour.
j ai quelques phrases a corriger, pour un commentaire de texte pourriez-vous, s'il vous plaît, me les corrigerc est assez urgent Merci de votre aide
At first, this system allows to parents who works a lot to follow progress of their children. It's also good for parents who lives far away.
She explains us that at the beginning the parents were not reassured, they had afraid of the system become a kind of reality TV.
Finally, this system is really secured, the children don't pay even any more attention ( ne font meme plus attention ) on the camera and the parents can observe their children in any piece of mind of everywhere.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 27-11-2008 07:59
Formules de politesse indispensables sur le site.
Forum principal
Message de elsa64 posté le 26-11-2008 à 22:02:16 (S | E | F)
Bonjour.
j ai quelques phrases a corriger, pour un commentaire de texte pourriez-vous, s'il vous plaît, me les corriger
At first, this system allows to parents who works a lot to follow progress of their children. It's also good for parents who lives far away.
She explains us that at the beginning the parents were not reassured, they had afraid of the system become a kind of reality TV.
Finally, this system is really secured, the children don't pay even any more attention ( ne font meme plus attention ) on the camera and the parents can observe their children in any piece of mind of everywhere.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 27-11-2008 07:59
Formules de politesse indispensables sur le site.
Forum principal
Réponse: De l aide pour corriger quelques phrases de brettdallen, postée le 26-11-2008 à 22:12:45 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Quelques conseils: voir accord sujet-verbe!(parents= pluriel, non?)
Voir fonctionnement du verbe "allow".
Il y a d'autres erreurs, mais corrigez déjà cela ..
Cordialement.
Réponse: De l aide pour corriger quelques phrases de elsa64, postée le 26-11-2008 à 22:25:22 (S | E)
At first, this system allows parents who work a lot to follow progress of their children. It's also good for parents who live far away.
She explains us that at the beginning the parents were not reassured, they had afraid of the system become a kind of reality TV.
Finally, this system is really secured, the children don't pay even any more attention ( ne font meme plus attention ) on the camera and the parents can observe their children in any piece of mind of everywhere.
je suis desolé il doit en rester beaucoup, mais j'ai du mal
Réponse: De l aide pour corriger quelques phrases de kolimang, postée le 27-11-2008 à 15:51:58 (S | E)
Bonjour Elsa,
Je tiens d'abord à préciser que je suis moi-même en train d'apprendre l'anglais, et donc mon avis est à prendre avec prudence.
Voici quelques remarques :
At first, this system allows parents who work a lot to follow progress of their children.
=> j'ajouterais l'article "the" devant "progress".
It's also good for parents who live far away.
=> je ne suis pas sûr que le mot "good" soit approprié ici ; je pencherais plutôt pour "convenient" (commode, pratique).
She explains us that at the beginning the parents were not reassured, they had afraid of the system become a kind of reality TV.
=> to be afraid of + noun. Example : She is afraid of dogs.
=> to be afraid (that) + clause. Example : She was afraid that he would not call back.
Finally, this system is really secured, the children don't pay even any more attention ( ne font meme plus attention ) on the camera and the parents can observe their children in any piece of mind of everywhere.
=> to pay attention to sth
=> j'écrirais dans l'ordre suivant : the children don't pay attention to the camera anymore
=> "in any piece of mind of everywhere" : Je ne comprends pas ce que tu veux dire. Peut-être qu'une expression m'échappe.
Amicalement.
Réponse: De l aide pour corriger quelques phrases de elsa64, postée le 27-11-2008 à 17:26:47 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide, c'etait tres utile. J espere pouvoir vous aider a mon tour un jour.
Merci encore
