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Commentaire d'un sondage, correct?
Message de sarah1906 posté le 29-04-2009 à 19:56:30 (S | E | F)
we conducted a survey about what kind of music 16 years-old listened and the one of heir parents.
So, we observed many differencies between two age groups. Indeed, young people rather listened electronic music, pop and particularly liked rock. According to a teenager we interviewed, it's "good music". Moreover, he said that young people can moved on these musics end can danced, so during a party thanks to these musics, there is a good atmosphere.
Onth other hand, singers of these kind of music are generally young like Red Hot Chili Peppers or Green Day. Consequently, young people can identify themself because singershad the same age.
Results of parents is quite different... Effectiveky, only 20% often listened rock music. This survey show us that parents listened rather jazz and classic music while their tennagers considered them as old.
But in spite of these results, it seems we have find a common groung : pop music ! In effect, 50% of parents liked pop against 80% of their tennagers.
MERCI A CELUI (OU CELLE) QUI M'AIDERA!!! n'hésitez pas à me donner votre avis sur cette rédaction pourvu que la critique soit constructive. Je vous donne l'intitulé de la consigne : utilisez des quantifieurs pour imaginer et commenter les résultats d'un sondage des jeunes de 16 ans et de leurs parents.
Message de sarah1906 posté le 29-04-2009 à 19:56:30 (S | E | F)
we conducted a survey about what kind of music 16 years-old listened and the one of heir parents.
So, we observed many differencies between two age groups. Indeed, young people rather listened electronic music, pop and particularly liked rock. According to a teenager we interviewed, it's "good music". Moreover, he said that young people can moved on these musics end can danced, so during a party thanks to these musics, there is a good atmosphere.
Onth other hand, singers of these kind of music are generally young like Red Hot Chili Peppers or Green Day. Consequently, young people can identify themself because singershad the same age.
Results of parents is quite different... Effectiveky, only 20% often listened rock music. This survey show us that parents listened rather jazz and classic music while their tennagers considered them as old.
But in spite of these results, it seems we have find a common groung : pop music ! In effect, 50% of parents liked pop against 80% of their tennagers.
MERCI A CELUI (OU CELLE) QUI M'AIDERA!!! n'hésitez pas à me donner votre avis sur cette rédaction pourvu que la critique soit constructive. Je vous donne l'intitulé de la consigne : utilisez des quantifieurs pour imaginer et commenter les résultats d'un sondage des jeunes de 16 ans et de leurs parents.
Réponse: Commentaire d'un sondage, correct? de brettdallen, postée le 30-04-2009 à 02:12:09 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Je vous propose quelques pistes...
we conducted(it's ok in theory, but we usually use "carry out") a survey about what kind of music 16 years(no "S" here)-old listened(there's a preposition missing here!) and the one of heir(spelling!) parents.
So, we observed(ok or "notice")many differencies between two age groups. Indeed, young people rather listened(always the same preposition missing!!) electronic music, pop and particularly liked(is it necessary to put another verb here?) rock. According to a teenager we interviewed, it's "good music". Moreover, he said that young people can moved on these musics end can danced(this is not "crystal-clear"), so during a party thanks to these musics("music" is uncountable, so use "sorts of"/"kinds of"), there is a good atmosphere.
Onth("On the".. but here you're not using this properly) other hand, singers of these kind(s) of music are generally young like Red Hot Chili Peppers or Green Day. Consequently, young people can identify themself(isn't it in the plural?) because singershad(two words + in the present, please!) the same age.
Results of parents(a bit awkward, isn't it?) is quite different... Effectiveky(spelling..), only 20% often listened(+ preposition!) rock music. This survey show(s) us that parents listened(...) rather jazz and classic(look it up! "musique classique") music while their tennagers(spelling) considered them(who/what?) as old.
But in spite of these results, it seems we have find("have" + past participle) a common groung : pop music ! In effect(I guess you meant "Indeed"!), 50% of parents liked pop against 80% of their tennagers(spelling)(the last sentence is really awkward!).
Now, considering your age, this is not a bad job! make the necessary corrections and show us how you got by! then you'll certainly get other comments.
Hope this helps.
